A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. To check it out, she went to the Wall, and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview. "Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name? "Morris Feinberg," he replied. "Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall to pray?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims." "I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop." "I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man." "And how do you feel Sir, after doing this for 60 years?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "It's like talking to a f*****g brick wall."
Love is blind God is love God is blind Stevie Wonder is blind Stevie Wonder is God I am a nobody Nobody is perfect I am perfect Only God is perfect I am God! God is Stevie Wonder I AM STEVIE WONDER...Fuck I'm blind.
An American tourist in London decides to explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter. After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences. No pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms. However, he really has to go, after all those Guinness's. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem. As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "Sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the bobby, "just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby, "anywhere you like." The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call English hospitality?" "No sir...", replied the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."
There's a sign above the door where I work that says, "Once you go black you never come back". You've got to have a sense of humour in the crematorium.
Just heard a whisper that the government are planning to ship the mentally insane abroad so that the country looks nice and tidy for the Olympics. My eyes watered when I thought of losing all my forum buddies. Love you. Be strong and don’t forget to pack your crayons
