Thank you, but it has to be said, the 3 dumper clear out is pretty apt too. 1) you sit there with a knotted insides for five minutes with nothing to show but the toxic atmosphere of the bog after several suspiciously prolapse inducing 'pressure vents', before thinking "I might have got away with this", tucking your book under your arm and leaving. 2) ten minutes later you return. Walking only from the knees down for fear of reminding your arse that it has an exit route, after daringly choosing War & Peace from the shelf. Lay half a dozen sheets of Andrex in the pan to try and dampen the sickening back splash to come. Then crouch, head in hands, Tolstoy forgotten in the trauma, as more fluid than common sense insists your body can contain, ejects itself from your anus, serendipitily removing and cauterising any stray haemorrhoids on its way, in a manner resembling library footage of the exhaust Venturi of a Saturn 5 launch. 10 minutes after the last 'movement' you feel that if your legs can take it you are safe to stand and leave, you slope away to the utility room to place a couple of pre-emptive rolls of toilet paper in the fridge, because, experience has drilled into you that 3 is just around the corner. 3) as if triggered by you climbing out of the defacaters squat, 2 minutes later you 'knee jog' back, slamming the fridge door shut and praying your timing is good as, against all known physical and biological laws, and without any rehydration whatsoever, another 30 gallons of brown rain Karchers out of your body, leaving you incredulous and in physical shock. And that's why Guinness would be better than antibiotics in hospitals suffering from MRSA. Anything that can turn your arse into a red rubber glove is not going to leave any bacteria inside your digestive tract. You'll be lucky if it leaves your spleen in there.
Just popped the top of the first Becks of the evening...getting comfy on PS3 then maybe a film later.
My non biking mate was trying to tell me how good this was today and not listening to me telling him, "yes, I have it on DVD"
Bottle of port gone and a glass away from the bottom of a bottle of red, could be a fuzzy head for the morning
I had a couple of tins of the black stuff earlier, then just now went out in the garden a raised a toast at the moon. Fallen heroes.
I'm getting de ja vue, Jack Daniels with a dash of soda water for me this rather tired evening whilst watching a rather poor 'x-men origins: Wolverine'
And Batman is just starting on Classics HD. Adam West, the real one. I feel an impromptu sesh coming on.
You could tell when everyone was getting tired and starting to ache today as we all started stretching our legs, resting our arms on the tank and standing up a lot
well it looks like im first in the bar,Im in evil bitch mood so its time to break out the wine...................... see if it helps and yes it is PMT>>>>>>>
Okaaayy Ash. I'm just leaving work, I'll be in the bar in about 20 minutes. I'd love to buy you a drink, but I'm sure you'll understand if I don't sit with you to drink it...
haHahaHaaaaa,theres only 2 things that help Alcohol or chocolate............... or ripping someone a new one.
Got my bottle of wine in the fridge chilling as I type this. Hopefully with that I can come to a decision on whether to switch jobs to something a bit more exciting
I'll be in the bar soon, so save us a seat, put my name on the pool board and tell the barman to pour us a Cidre .. cheers.
