An 18 year-old girl from Larkhall tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not really sure what to do. What do you suggest?' At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You shag her again.'
Gaddafi once had it all and slowly watched his empire crumble, the trusted flee to the opposition and now the defence has collapsed... Now the world is laughing at you .Sorry did i say Gaddafi ? i meant Wenger.
She did a few times. that restring order has stopped me asking her now :Cry: And sorry for the next gif
I've just come out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie ,Large chips, Mushy peas and a Jumbo Sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'Ive not eaten for two days' 'I told him i wish i had your will power'
Our Ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with Hundreds and Thousands Police say that he topped himself.
The BBC are saying that "Gaddafi may have slipped into Jordan".... Is there anyone Katie Price hasn't shagged?
WARNING: If you receive an email saying," 2 Free tickets to James Blunt " Whatever you do DO NOT OPEN IT!!! It contains 2 free tickets to see James Blunt.
Dad buys a Lie detector robot, which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. "Son, where were you today?" The son says, "at school, dad." The robot slaps the son. "Okay! I watched a dvd at my friend's house! "What dvd?""Toy Story."Robot slaps the son again. "Okay, it was a porno!" cries the son.Dad yells, "What!? When I was your age, I didn't know what porn was!" Robot then slaps the dad. Mom laughs, "Ha, ha! He's definitely YOUR son." Robot then slaps the mom
So i'm standing at the bar and this little chinese guy is stood at the side of me .So i asked him do you know martial arts like Kung Fu and ju-jitsu.... He replied why the fuck do you ask me that ..Is it because i'm Chinese? I said no, it's because your drinking my fucking pint you little cunt.
