Your money or your wife A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through Cash Machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ***************************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Apply handbrake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on your mobile phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Take a quick peeky at yourself in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of cheque-book. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you 24. Restart stalled engine and pull away 25. Redial person on mobile 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Handbrake.
