Don't you think it's sick that the people in the second row find what's about to happen to the people in the first row so amusing?
A fella goes for a job in the Quality Assurance department at Durex. The foreman takes him 'round the plant and shows him all the machinery and offers him the job. "What will the role entail exactly?" Asks the interviewee. "Well", says the foreman, "you have to check 1 in a hundred", and proceeds to remove one of the rubbers from the production line, stretches it, holds it up to the lights, then places it over his penis and calls the secretary over. She proceeds to hitch her skirt up, pull her knickers down and bends over. The foreman gives her a jolly good rogering; after he's finished he removes the prophylactic, stretches it, holds it up to the light again to confirm no holes. "Easy as that", he says. "When do I start?" asks the fella, unable to believe his luck. "Monday, 8am sharp!" Naturally, our hero hardly sleeps a wink all Sunday night, and is outside the Durex factory waiting to get in at 6.30am Anyway, the production line starts up and the fella faithfully counts out 100 ribbed black mambo's, (lubricated with sensodol for extra comfort). He picks up the 101st, stretches it, holds it up to the light to check for holes then pulls it over his old man and calls the secretary over. Over she comes, grabs hold of his manhood, and proceeds to rigorously masturbate him. Rather startled and confused, the fella just looks at the secretary who says... "Sorry, company policy. You've got to work a week in hand"
A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself and asks, "May I buy you a cocktail?" "No thank you," Maxine replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs." "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" "No, they spread."
The wife bought me a lovely new Rolex for my 40th Birthday. ''Do you like it?'' she asked, ''it's great'' i replied ''it will remind me of your pussy.'' She laughed ''is that because it's exclusive and sexy?''. I replied, ''Nah, it's a bit loose round my wrist!'' :haha:
