I'm not sure if the mrs has said something to my 3 year old or how he meant it but on the way to school this morning he said "Daddy I'm a boy kid and your a man kid" Is he calling me immature?!?!
A customer of mine, of whom I am quite fond, who is rather......'blonde', enquired about some kit but every time I tried to email her business address the email failed. She was confused about this when I explained that the software was returning a 'bad semantics' error and responded, "I don't know what they are. Are they big, scary, Japanese robots?" The easiest way out was just to tell her "Yes".
When my better half was pregnant with our first I got a very angry and abusive phone call from her at work .... Her ..... 'Where the F@"k are you ? I have been waiting here for 30 mins' Me ...... 'At home where else would I be' Her...... 'Bloody typical, you forgot me and now I feel stupid stood here waiting for you !' Me...... 'You will feel even more stupid when you realise you have the car there wont you !' Her..... silence...... Hang up !! LOL Sometimes I wander what I have done to deserve her
Customer came in this morning clutching a print I did for him yesterday and was not happy. The problem was, that I had printed the whole picture. He had spent time, at home, before coming in, cropping the picture to remove all of the people he didn't want in the final print, then writing it back to his memory stick so I could do a little 6x8 for his daughter to take back home to Canada with her. And I'd printed all of the picture and made it all a waste of his time... I did explain that, seeing as the print I'd made included bits that he'd painstakingly deleted 'before' he'd come in to see me, we were addressing a physical impossibility unless, by some ludicrous freak of nature, he'd not saved his manipulated image after all and just brought me his original, but it was obvious to him that I was just making excuses in an effort to get out of making him another print at no charge. Oh well, there's another customer I've upset...
Sounds like you have a real skill there ken My grandfather died about 4 months before my first child was born and since then we have had a 2nd, could you print me a picture with them all togeather please oh and include any future children we may have
Oddly enough, mate, I could make a pretty good job that. Matt, it is providing some amusing snorts, yes. I am concerned, however, at the percentage of posts are from me. I often joke about being a twat magnet but there now seems to be increasing evidence.
On holiday, down at the beach and the wee one (5) looks across the water to the mountains and asks "what is that over there in the destinys". Confused, the wife and I looked at each other before realising she meant the "distance", then began pissing ourselves laughing. Lol.
So the missus gets me a present for our anniversary that is this Saturday. We are going away for a few days, so she says "I don't want to lug it across there and find out you don't like it, so here". She hands me a bottle of aftershave. And very nice it is too. She says "do you like it" ? I reply "yeh fantastic thanks". She says "you sure ? You are not just saying that" ? I said "I am sure, it's great, but the way you were talking about 'lugging it across to Spain' I thought you had got me Yoshimura downpipes rather than a bottle of aftershave" Probably funnier just to us, but I couldn't get her to stop laughing for about ten minutes.
Setting the camera up on the tripod to catch the ISS tonight and Jeanette is waiting to see it so she can go to bed. She's wandering backwards and forwards looking in the direction I told her to watch then she sees it. "There's something moving up." She says. "Over there, between the trees. It's moving quickly.....Yes. It's definitely the Playstation."...
Just asked my 3 year old how his day was at pre school to which he answered Sarah (his teacher) took me to the other side of the gate to see some acorns, I picked one up and his hat fell off then he turned into a grape!
Said by my beloved when reading her third speeding warning "it’s not my fault, they always hide round the corner"
J's first driving test, apparently was on for a first time pass but the examiner said he couldn't justify her doing 45mph in a 30 mph zone. She was incensed at him failing her for it. Claiming "It's none of his business how fast I was going, he's just there to check I can drive okay!" Whatcha gonna do...
So, I got home last night and put the news on. I'd already been running the ESA live feed to the Rosetta landing all day at work (much to my boss's irritation), but we all know I'm a space nerd so I wanted to OD on what coverage there was. Now, I rarely watch the news. Last thing I want after a long day is to hear that other people are miserable too and joining in with it seems a bit masochistic really, so, the facy that I switched it on raised J's interest. "What's this?" "The comet landing." "When's that?" "Well, it already happened, just after four o'clock." "I didn't even know they were going to a comet." "Really? It's been all over the media for the last week, pretty well covered for the last couple of months." "Well I haven't seen any of it." "It's taken ten years to get there. They even had to shut the probe down for two years so they'd have enough power for this bit." "TEN YEARS! What about the astronauts!?!" Then it was time for 'Strictly'...
My Boys both love Harry Potter. when it came time to go and buy some new school shoes we all trapsed off to a clarks near us on a busy summers saturday . Both boys in bloody wizard capes and wands in hands. I was talking to the wife when all of a suddern alfie shouts at the top of his voice Look Dad its Ninjas and he jumps round the side of the aslie shouts a spell and points his wand at a family of Muslims in full burkers who are slightly confused by the then 7 year old aimimg a bit of stick at them and chanting potter spells whilst darting past.
Still crying with laughter on this one! Just had a clutch and flywheel replaced on my car. When picking it up I notice a big warning light on the dash AFS so I pointed it out to the mechanic. " sorry mate didn't notice that, it's where I disconnected the battery and it's set off the cars ANTI FEFT SYSTEM" I looked at the bloke for a few seconds to realise he was being perfectly serious pmsl
