My Childs not Perfect

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by stevebetts, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. Benn The Pig

    Benn The Pig Well-Known Member

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    Interesting read thus far an emotional rollercoaster!!!!
     
  2. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Benn.
    I'm very conscious about being the prophet of doom here. If anyone thinks this isn't appropriate at any time i will stop.
    As i say, I wont drag this out, but I feel this is an incredible story.
     
  3. Garyb

    Garyb Moderator.
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    No! you certainly will not be discouraged from ceasing this thread. If people "and I value their opinion" wish to unsubscribe they can do this it's their choice.
    It's good to get things into perspective, and it's very hard to do this at times, you may feel that you cannot talk to anyone what your child is going/been through? But this forum is a good place to unload as let's face it some of us have never met, and perhaps we never will, but one thing you can be assured of Steve, if I may call you Steve? is everyone reading this story is as interested and perhaps some curious as the next.
    Keep up the good work. :)
     
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  4. honda.ima

    honda.ima Active Member

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    Out of interest can he play a musical instument?
     
  5. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    no, but he does bloody good dog impressions!
    He is trying to learn the drums and has just started learning the ocarina. Concentration helps immensely!
     
  6. honda.ima

    honda.ima Active Member

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    My thoughts as well Concentration seems to help.
     
  7. Carl

    Carl Well-Known Member

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    As Gary said Steve those that want to follow this thread will and those that don,t will not be reading it so don't worry. Perhaps it reminds the rest of us that our problems are not so bad?
     
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  8. rocket

    rocket Active Member

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    hi steve, i cant imagine what you have gone/going thru as a family but outside of bike topics/banter i hope thats what most of us are here for. it must take a lot of courage,trust and emotions to share your experiences with us and feel good that you class us as friends (albeit most of us have never met yet) enough to allow us to listen. behind most smiles lies heartache in some form or another and i,m sure you won,t be the only one in time to share your experiences. good on you steve and this place really is a great place to be.
     
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  9. rocket

    rocket Active Member

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    also forgot to add have the program recorded so will make a point of watching soon. within our friends/ family have an autistic child and a lad of 19 with downs. 2 of the best kids we,ve met along with 2 very strong familys.
     
  10. Mel

    Mel Active Member

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    Annoying little shites, kids with an ASD....

    they talk about nothing, constantly.. and they're clever, getting you to agree to things when you're not listening properly.
    I have 1 with ASD and 1 with aspergers and an OCD, fun fun fun... Its quite easy once you accept their ways and unwritten rules :D
     
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  11. megawatt

    megawatt Well-Known Member

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    Bloody ell Steve, you've got me in tears now, and did I say it's my Burfday. Don't stop though!!!
     
  12. ColinBR

    ColinBR God Like

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    Hi Steve

    Very interesting read mate. My missus boy has had some of the symptoms you are talking about. Sometimes he would chap his teeth together, blink his eyes for a long time, and also lately he would make gulping sounds all the time. Maybe every 10-20 secs. Not all at the same time.

    We went to the docs and they did the tests. First of all they thought it was just a little habit he picked up from school. Then they said it could be terrets. Please forgive the spelling.
     
  13. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean Mel.
    Adam also has OCD. He get some strange compulsions.
    If he decided he has to do something, it would take a freight train to stop him!
    One funny side of this happened a few months ago. Adam gets on very well with his older brother. He is one of very few people who are allowed to wind him up.
    I was in the kitchen and heard an almighty commotion upstairs. By the time I got to them they were in the lounge (Adam and Lewis). Lewis (19 years old) was curled up on the chair and Adam (15 years old) was absolutely beating hell out of him.
    I managed to hold Adam whilst I asked Lewis what was happening. He was still laughing and eventually told me they were messing about hitting each other with a balloon.
    Now, if you hit Adam with a baloon, he HAS to hit you back or he just flips.
    Lewis thought it would be funny to hit adam them run into the bathroom and lock himself in. Lewis came out of the bathroom just before Adam took the door off its hinges and ran downstairs.
    At this point I said to Adam "im going to let go of you now so you can get him back". I did - he tapped Lew on the head and it was like flicking a switch. He went from Tasmanian devil to calm in that split second!
     
  14. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    Bloody hell Mega, I wish you would have mentioned it was your birthday!
    Sorry about the tears.
    All I will say is, if your in tears now, the worst is yet to come...............
     
  15. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    Hi Colin. When it is mild there is another name for it which escapes me at the moment. Something like tic syndrome or something.
    Tourettes is diagnosed when they have multiple motor tics and and vocal tics for a period of at least 12 months.
    If they are not sure, thats a good thing. With Adam, it was obviously Tourettes.
     
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  16. Mel

    Mel Active Member

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    My nephew has aspergers and tourettes, its just been diagnosed after having tic syndrome for over 12 months, so you are correct on this... At the moment he is just clearing his throat every 2-3 secs, he's just started a special school as he cant handle anyone looking at him, he cant do noisy classrooms, but he can obey rules.
    whereas my daughter... it is hard to get your head round her condition. she has no sense of danger, is obsessed with death and will do dangerous thing to herself or us.
    last year, we were watching tv and she was in the cupboard under the stairs getting her skates. the power went down... you know that big chunky main feed wire of electricity that comes into the house and into the metre? she'd pulled it out and it was dangling... she went to grab it, and my partner just launched at her, grabbed her hair (it was the easiest thing) and pulled her backwards out of the cupboard! phew...

    i woke up to the house (2am) filled with gas... apparently the dog had pressed the button in on the cooker and turned it on...

    she has drunk vegetable oil, eaten x amount of bars of soap, drunk dettol, eats compulsively (vegetables), chews her skin off (until they bleed) on her feet, argues with everyone, wont accept authority from anyone but me and her teacher, wants to help..overhelp, she'll make me 20 coffee's in one evening even if i cant drink them, she speaks inappropriately, eg to the headmistress, "do you and (another teacher) have sex in your teabreak?"
    apart from all this she is very loving and sensitive believe it or not..

    i could go on, i wont LOL :D
     
  17. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you've got your hands full Mel!
     
  18. Mel

    Mel Active Member

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    actually no, you wouldn't know there are kids in this house..

    I have no rules, i expect them to decide if its the right thing to do (seems to work believe it or not)
    I work odd random hours, then come home, they've cooked dinner, and they separate in the house, each room has its own sky system, they all have their own laptop, and ds/xbox etc...
    they have no need to associate with each other unless they want to = PEACE!!! haha
     
  19. stevebetts

    stevebetts Well-Known Member

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    My lads tens to be like that.
    Both spend a lot of time in their room on Xbox, laptop etc.
    Question Mel - how do your kids get on with each other?
    My lads get on great, but since Adams problems started he has developed an irrational hatred of his sister. They went from best friends to them not really being able to be in the same room.
     
  20. Mel

    Mel Active Member

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    The boys gets on well with each other (1 'normal' 1 with aspergers)
    Ryan, the one with aspergers gets on well with the 'normal' daughter, but he does not get on well with Sasha (the one with the ASD)
    Sasha does not get one with Courteney (the 'normal') one.

    Sorry to use that term 'normal' but it makes it easier to explain.

    Like i said, I dont have rules, so when they know they cannot fall back on you all the time, they tend to sort more out on their own. I will step in if someone is getting hurt. The one that is getting picked on will eventually stand up for herself if you dont.
    None of them ever step outside the boundaries, If the house gets too messy (another trait of ASD) I go out for the evening - usually upset - and they decide the right thing to do is clear their mess. ...

    Kids will do what they want. I let them do it but impose a small request, My 20 yr old wants to have to girlfriend over to sleep 3 times a week.... i asked that he has respect for anyone in the hosue, we dont want to hear anything :D and that he uses protection, i would rather this than he go out of the house, do it anyway, but not be safe.

    if they want a glass of wine or WKD at a party, thats fine... if they overdo it, they'll only do it once :)
    none of them smoke, or have ever wanted to, none of them drink more than 1-2 units every couple of months or hang about in antisocial groups, they behave and are polite.. they do all their own cleaning, cooking, washing etc.. i look after me, and the baby!

    and we have no rules, just guidance on the lesser of two evils sometimes.. :)
     

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