Really? Not Sainsbury's in Exeter. Just these new fangled, hoity toity americanised flavours. Phish food? Who'd name a sweet flavoured treat after an internet scam?! Rocky Road? There aren't enough potholes in the byways of Britain to harm our P&J's without being reminded of them during our afters. Cherry Garcia? The Dead are dead dude, leave it. What happened to the good old Vanillas, Raspberry Ripple and Rum & Raisin. More good, old fashioned values gone, like tears in the rain.
No, Carte D'or was my weapon of choice until I discovered the true Nirvana of Ben & Jerry's. It now tastes of ashes in my mouth (see what I did there). And now Jeanette tells my she's got me a treat. Phish Food! Well, I'll eat it, but my heart won't be in it.
Well Jeanette has failed again. She's bought me some Ben & Jerry's Baked Alaska. Vanilla ice cream with marshmallow and white chocolate bits in. She thinks this qualifies as vanilla ice cream. She is missing the point on purpose because I claim that you can't get it around here and she, as a wife, instantly contradicts me. Rather than prove herself wrong she will now continue to parade a plethora of luscious treats in front of me that, despite containing the word vanilla in the ingredients, are blatantly visible to all but her, not Vanilla Ice Cream. All she has to say is "do you know what? You're right". But of course our marriage certificate forbids it. Oh well. I'd better sit and eat it I suppose or that'll be wrong too.
Do you see........? Do you see the lengths she'll go to to make me believe I'm going insane...........?
"Going" - That statement alone is troubling me and as well you know, you have cost me enough sleep already mate.
Well today I got home to this. Is this grounds for mental cruelty. She really doesn't see a problem. Again, I'm going to have to eat all of this just to pretend that I care that the efforts been made.
