Hands up whose partners purchase things that they “need” but turn out to be white Elephants. Well this is the story about a white horse. On Friday night L exalted with some excitement that she had won an ebay auction for an iJoy. An i what I here you ask. Which is exactly what I said. Its a bargain she said. Its brand new and below half price and we are going to Colchester to get it tomorrow afternoon, It’s a mechanical horse type thing that you sit on an it makes your buttocks tighten. I’ve got news for you I thought, I already got something you can sit on that will make your buttocks tighten. Long story cut short to get to the thread title. We get this thing home, plug it in last night and it rock and dips and moves about like a horse with various settings from mild trot to full blown rodeo. I watch, glass of wine in hand with amusement as she rocks about on this thing for a few minutes. Have a go L suggests with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning. Now being a bloke we don’t need any instructions and never read the warnings. So that’s me half pissed whooping it up on full power with one arm in the air. This morning I wake up in agony with half of the skin between the cheeks of my arse missing and therefore no chance of getting out on my bike. What’s the guessing our new house guest will get used for a week, sit there for a month and be back on ebay before the end of the July.
+1 And we're supposed to actually believe that you just woke up this morning with your arse in tatters because of a girlie exercise machine. You're certain you didn't go out last night and pick up a Dutch sailor in Cromer?
Well I am pretty sure I didn’t go anywhere near Cromer but I would suggest it might be an idea for the Dutch They would have more chance of scoring than against Portugal this evening, either way they are going to get stuffed.
Well,.fook me! Or you. Bigger than I thought......hardly surprising ya arse is hanging down like a red sock. Blimey, 4 times in 2 weeks?! ....
Ah, now I've seen a picture of the offending item I see what has happened. L has let you have a go on the new sex toy, but when you refused to get off, she has doped you with copious amounts of alcohol & then punished you by getting the strap-on out, hence the sore arse
