GF wants to take me out tonight. somewhere posh, SHOES, not trainers, SHIRT, not a tee, KECKS, not jeans, oh, and 'have a bloody shave'. 'yes dear'... So I dug out THE shoes, THE shirt and THE kecks. Even found tbe iron n surf board. Stood in nice hot shower contemplating what a shite run of luck I been having this year, and looking forward to death. So i'm all lathered up when suddenly........it's gone dark, the shower stopped working, the music system is quiet. Bollocks, I thought. Straight down into the cellar to investigate....uh oh...power cut. Waited 5 minutes then rang the distributor. 'no sir, there's no power cuts or interuptions'. Cut a long story short, the cable supplying my house is buggered, nobody elses, just mine. So i'm sat in boxers and shower gel getting my stuff together to go to hers to finish off. Looks like I might have dead fish by the time it's sorted. And, knowing my luck, they will have to dig the worlds biggest trench right in front of the bike shed, and leave the gorge all sunny warm weekend. BOLLOCKS.
Blaggs i feel, my friend, that if you where to fall into a barrel tits you'd come out sucking your own soapy thumb. Lets hope your posh nosh makes up for mate, just check the chair legs before you sit down it could get embarrassing if it collapses and you tip soup d'jour down your best bib and tucker.......... enjoy your night you deserve it.
I do feel for you blaggers, you have the worst of luck. Enjoy your meal & chill out with the girlfriend!
Ja'sus Blagg's, you must have been Hilter in a previous life or something - or saving all your luck up for a quadrupole lotto win! Remind me never to get on a plane with you!
PMSL. mate your a legend. Looking on the bright side at least your moving swiftly up the numpty awards leader board.
