Seeing as the BBC news this morning have been telling Christmas jokes, its got to be time for my all time favourite: Two snowmen having a chat, one says to the other " can you smell carrots"
Must have been a slow morning ok, here's mine. What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
I asked my Mrs what she wanted for Christmas ? Oh I don't know she said, just spend £50 on something that will make me look gorgeous. Imagine her surprise when I came home pissed.
Why was Santa so upset when he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner! Why does Santa always go through the chimney? Because Mrs Claus told him he would never get in the back door!
I am thinking of getting the people at work that I don't like petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas. It’s would be such a joy to watch their faces light up!
