Right then. My missus being all royalist and steeped in ancient guilt for soiling the presence of the sovereign could not let today pass without consuming every piece of media shite that is being broadcast. Me, who would have them up against a white wall with little provocation has noticed that today coincides with a fest of bike racing. So we're having two parties in one house. My riding buddies and their decidedly better halves are about to arrive, I've got all last weeks racing on the hard drive in the back room, Manx radio downloaded to the iPad, Guinness, lager, port and gin on ice. Jeanette is battling with the biggest beef buorguignon you've every seen, pretty brave for a vegetarian, and I've just done the white tornado through the house with a duster and the dyson. So girlies in the front room all day in fascinators and champers, and the lads in the back shitfaced and bullshitting. Luverley!
Sounds like you will have a better day Ken!. Its not for me ,mainly all parasites with the constant hand outs and in General its all about London .They say they bring in millions but who benifits ? can't say my life uis enriched. I think the biggist hard faced greedy F**k of the lot is Andrew who has spent all of his life from day one stealing out of our pockets 'No shame what so ever in this one'
Off with his head! No mate, I feel the same. Not quite as psychotically, but the same. The real royalty will be in the back room. The king of the mountain. There's plenty to go around if you can make it in time Mike.
Ken, Ken you have let me down mate, so much so that Ling has just said “YOU SEE”. Why did you have to go and mention fascinators! Prior to our visit to the Place last Tuesday she had mentioned I need a fascinator, “you need a what?” “Fascinator she said” “what the fcuk is that when it’s at home was my non grammar school educated response”. To which the response was a slow shaking of the head and a detailed enlightenment. Ok I thought women might have known that but not blokes. Now fast forward to meeting her at her office for lunch and a fascinator shopping expedition. In the lift I asked some random fella “Do you know what a fascinator is?”. Yes he said in a very mincy voice “it’s like a bit like a hat” to hoots of laugher from L and a “you see”. Bollocks I thought trust me to pick someone that clearly bats for the other side. So Ken this poses a question either I am a complete numpty or you have a little secret?.
Yes you are a numpty, but yes I have more than a few secrets. However, as a, supposedly, retired wedding photographer. Supposedly because of the amount of pond life still coming out of the woodwork on a regular basis thinking that a couple of grands worth of photographs is a fair trade against a £25 pound M&S voucher for the dubious pleasure of wasting a day of my life pretending I'm enjoying the pain of sharing their nuptials. I have had to suffer first hand the abject bollocks surrounding the sudden appearance and generally accepted necessity of the faScinator in the female function mindset. I've learned to suffer it and store it as a comparison when a justification for a race replica helmet is required.
