Should I hang up my lid and give up the riding???

Discussion in 'General 1000RR Discussion' started by martinowen, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. martinowen

    martinowen Moderator
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    This is quite a long post but I would really appretiate if you could take the time to read it as I could really do with some helpfull advise.

    I have just returned from my holiday in Devon and on our journey back a motorcycle accident happened oposite side of the road in front of us, it was very bad had paramedics there in no time at all an ambulance and a helicopter. The poor bloke was having his chest pumped for ages and it wasn't looking too good! I really hope the bloke pulls through.
    As some of you know I had a very bad accident 7years ago I died at the sceen, internal bleeding, fluid and swelling on the brain and had lots of broken bones and was told I would most probably not walk again.
    Now I worked as hard as I possibly could to learn to walk again and it took 2 long years! My main goal to get me through this sadly enough was to get back on a bike again :)
    As I saw this poor bloke today it brought back alot of memory's, flashbacks and emotions, it was all very odd and I actually broke down in tears (yes I'm 29 and 20st but I could not control it) I was even getting flash backs of things I have not remembered before.
    Im having thoughts of selling the bike and giving it all up, I love riding and my bike is my dream bike, I have never wanted anything else not even a newer one!
    Ridding is the only thing that has got me to the stage Iam at now and without it I would probably be in a wheelchair as I would have not had the same determination.

    Do I take today as a sign and give it up as I have had a lucky escape?

    Am I just being stupid?
    Please guys/girls your opinions would mean alot to me and help me.

    Thank you reading
     
  2. Si.

    Si. God Like

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    Only you can think what you want to do mate......

    Alas, the perils of motorcycling or any other open transport is dangerous, there's no escaping that Martin, but if you are questioning yourself if you should give up or not, then you have the answer... No. You will know if you don;'t want to carry on, you don't need us to tell you to stop, you resumed the fantastic hobby that is bikes all by yourself after your horrible accident....

    Me, there's no way in gods earth i'll ever give it up, unless im flat broke or cannot physically ride anymore. It's my salvation, my first love and my soulmate, it's there when i need to chillax, or forget the worries and strains of life. It's fucking brilliant.
     
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  3. Jimbo Vills

    Jimbo Vills God Like

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    Give it a bit of time fella. If you quit fair dues if you don't great. But don't knee jerk into it...

    Can't say on same level as what you've been through but seen some major big ones and the aftermath of a couple others and you seem to always go through the same cycle, but in the end, the good times outweigh the bad and I / we just get back on the bike because it's awesome!!
     
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  4. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    Martin, that must have been a terrible thing to have to experience, especially given your history. There is nothing any of us can say that's either qualified or unbiased enough to have a fair influence on any decision you choose to make. If you feel that what you've experienced, personally and visually will have an effect on how you ride, you owe it to yourself, your loved ones and other road users to think twice before you pull on your lid. If, as you say, your motivation to work so hard has been to ride again, take strength from what you have achieved over the last seven years of pain and graft and draw a line under it, then do what you've fought to do for so long. No one's indestructible, we all know that and still we go out there and shout at the devil, but I'd be surprised if you don't already know the answer to your question and that's why it's us that you're looking to to help you decide.

    When the time comes mate, I reckon you'll know instantly and won't need our help.
     
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  5. Garyb

    Garyb Moderator.
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    It's personal choice mate. We are born and then we die, the clock ticks for every one.
    For what it's worth I'm a big believer in fate and destiny, we come in on a day and we go out on one. It all depends how we are programmed for our life as long or as short the clocks set.
    I feel for you with your thought process, I pulled a 2 year old and it's father last night out from under a 46 tonne super tram, the baby fortunately just had cuts and bruised, it's dad did not fair to well, broken pelvis hips arms etc. they crossed with one of those stupid carriers that gets towed behind the parent.
    Upshot is I will still ride my push bike, I,will still cross the tracks at the same place, if we all live in a world of "what if?" we may as well switch off now, shit happens, it happens a lot more to some people than others, some get away with it, some don't.
    If your having this thought process now after a big off 7 years ago your the only one that can make the decision.
    Tell you now mate, emotionally I don't care how it seems, we are all human, even if we don't appear to give a shit, there are always events that dig down into our heart.
    To finish, just get your leg over the bike, and take things easy, before you know it you'll be back in the swing, thinking, pleased I didn't give this up.
     
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  6. fez.57

    fez.57 Well-Known Member

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    I would not make any decision now as winter is on its way. park the bike up leave it for 6 months and see if the hunger to ride is still there.

    Do track days not interest you at all.

    If bikes are your life but you just can ride anymore how about getting a job in the motorbike industry
     
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  7. arthurbikemad

    arthurbikemad A very helpful Gent

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    Mate your a nice bloke and nice people have feelings....it's a bummer but that's the way it is, people who don't care for nothing properly don't see the nose on there face....what am I saying, well I guess I'm saying your a nice guy and it's as said only you that can make your mind up, if I tell you I've tried to get away from bikes a few times in my life but no matter how hard I've tried they have always been a part of me and define who I am, they are in our blood and it's hard if not impossible to get it out.. We all live and learn and after experiences like yours they are life changing in many ways I'm sure you ride with max care and attention so can stay within the limits we all should on the road etc so there is no massive risk... Life is risky and fragile and any thing can happen on the way... It's a hard one mate, talk to those close to you and maybe they can help you with your choice.... Good luck....
     
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  8. IcarusGreen

    IcarusGreen Elite Member

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    Some good words of advice there from the guys, but the one thing I'll add is to try a track day to get away from the additional dangers that riding on the road brings. Take it easy, ride within yourself and do it for the right reasons.
     
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  9. Freedom of choice

    Freedom of choice Elite Member

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    Martin. Feel for you mate, really do, we all have skeletons in our brains that get resurrected on the slightest provocation. The only help I an offer is I had a bad ride out earlier in the year cut short by a coupe of near misses. Went home early, parked up shut the door and thought ' Fcuk it. That’s it. I owe it to myself and those that love me to call it a day'. Like you I asked what other thought. I listened to the advise on here and left it a week before deciding to have another ride out and if I still feel the same ‘that’s it I am done’

    It took me a few miles to get back into it and thinking about the time I missed my bikes after having to sell everything to fund my divorce I came to the conclusion it was not my time to hand up the spurs just yet.

    Give it a few days, have a ride and then you will have a clearer view on things. Good luck and respect to what ever the outcome Martin.
     
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  10. Carl

    Carl Well-Known Member

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    I used to go flying in a two seater with a friend, once or twice a month, it always crossed my mind how dangerous this type of flying was with a hobby pilot but put it to the back of my mind. One day he could not see the grass runway and panicked, the control tower helped us in and whilst I was not too concerned at the time I decided it was no longer worth the risk and my heart want in it any more, I've never been since and it's never bothered me. So What am I getting? I think posting your thread is therapy in it self and whilst all the decent chaps on here will try to make you feel better it fundamentally down to you and when its time to hang up your helmet you will know and just do it, get on your bike tomorrow the next day, next week, you will know?

    Good luck
     
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  11. barry107

    barry107 Active Member

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    Accidents happen every day and we may see things that may have happened to loved one's, friends, or complete strangers which make us think about how we lead our life’s, what hobbies we do, etc,etc.

    Its how we deal with this is the important thing; people seem to deal with physical scars a lot easier then the mental ones. The mental scars can take days, week, and years to heal, or in lots of cases, never fully heal.

    Our mind tries to protect it's self/us by blocking out or totally forgetting bad memories of a tragic nature or an incident.

    Seeing the other man receiving the medical attention has triggered your flashback of your own accident which you’re fully aware off. The more you talk about your accident which you've starting to do, the better you will understand it and the better you will able to deal with it.

    Talking with someone about it will lift a great weight of your shoulders and give you the ability to better enjoy what the bad memories are stopping you from enjoying/doing.

    With the support of those close to you, nothing is imposable, but if your other half, children or family are totally against it, this is something you have too take into consideration even when you have recovered.
     
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  12. martinowen

    martinowen Moderator
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    Thank you all for your coments there are some wise words there.

    I don't think it's the fear of it happening again that's getting too me I think it's more the realisation of what happened and how serious it was, I know that sounds silly being 7 years on but I don't think my body and mind had chance to take it in back then. I think seeing this today has just jogged hidden memory's and emotions that my mind has blocked out, I suppose this could of been triggered 2 weeks or 30 years on!
    I have become a fair weather rider since my accident so I think the advice many of you have given is prob the most sensible thing to do. I will clean my bike tomorow and cover it up in the garage and see how I feel when summer comes round.
    Cheers for your support and advice guys
     
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  13. arthurbikemad

    arthurbikemad A very helpful Gent

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    Just don't forget mate we can just ride for the love of it, just coz the blade does 180mph there is no shame in just chilling out on a ride out.... I know I need to take some of my own advice some times that's for sure... Happy days to you mate.
     
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  14. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    Mind you, I did just cut and paste mine from 'dear Deirdre', but the thought was there.
     
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  15. martinowen

    martinowen Moderator
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    I did wonder, it's the only serious post I have ever read from you mate :)
     
  16. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    Yeah.....sorry about that. I do understand sincerity, I just don't do it very well.

    The truth, I think, is you clocked that poor bastard but it wasn't him you saw, it was you. And then all the fight, all the bloody mindedness, all the bare faced stubborn drive that dragged you off your back, then on you feet and finally back on two wheels, was all done and finished and drained out of you and you were back on that gurney, fighting for your life, thinking, could you go through it all again. That, nobody knows, not even you, I doubt.

    Remember that thinking about what happened never gets easier, but distance means that you don't think about it as often and that'll do. What you saw earlier has made you fixate on it all over again. Let the distance build up again and then see how you feel.
     
  17. Garyb

    Garyb Moderator.
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    Wise words Ken.

    They should make you a moderator or somthing on here ;!
     
  18. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    Feck me, now it's too much sincerity, maybe ill just stick to piss taking.
     
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  19. rocket

    rocket Active Member

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    can,t really add anymore to whats been said. but you laying the bike up over winter will help you see things clearer whichever way you choose next year. i,m sure your do whats right for you! all the best with it.
     
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  20. martinowen

    martinowen Moderator
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    Cheers guys, had a long chat with the mrs today about giving it up and she really wants me to carry on riding. This really supprised me as she has seen me at my worst and seen all the pain a depression on the way. (she must think I have life insurance)
    We now have 2 kids oldest one being 2.5, we were all in the car and witnessed this tragic accident and I thought this would of put her against me riding, obviously the kids had no idea what was going on or what I have been through.
    As I said before I will park my bike up until next year and hopeful sort my head out by then as deep down I want to keep riding.

    I have just read that the rider was a 53year old woman and she died at the scene, I feel for both her and her family. RIP
     

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