"I reckon I could fit at least two of the tubs of Ben & Jerry's that I have in my fridge-freezer into this cone when I get it home"
I think it's great that an entire cross section of society have been given the opportunity to carry the Olympic torch, and represent their community. That said......
Breaking News: Horror as Olympic torch bearer trips over, then rocks herself to sleep, trying to get up.
"And this is the actual chicken bone that was lodged in my throat. My doctors say that if it hadn't been found, it would have been a mere matter of decades before I starved to death. I would like to say a big thank you to the doctors of the royal veterinary college and a special hug to the brave boys of the Devonport Navy Yards Tug-of-War team for administrating the Heimlich Maneuver."
From the official lady on the left, "Bloody hell. I wish that BMW would turn its lights off. I can see the shadow of her enormous camel toe on the road"