I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle... although you wouldn't of thought it from the look on her miserable face as we were bouncing around..
I went to get my testicles checked out yesterday. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said 'it's quite common to get an erection at this moment' 'i haven't got one' I told her. She said 'no, but I have'
My boss asked me why I always come out in a rash when he pays my wages. I told him 'it's because i'm allergic to fucking peanuts'
Ladies and Gentlemen! Megawatt would like to invite you all to a good, old fashioned, Romney Marsh Barbecue!!!!!!!!!
Have a meeting in Cambridgeshire today. Drove past a town called 'Shingay-Cum-Wendy'. Seriously, WTF? It's real, check google - Shingay-Cum-Wendy - Google Maps
When we where going to monkey world the boys noticed the sign "shitterton" Awesome Here are some more http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7263112/Britains-rudest-place-names.html
I just dont understand women at all. Last night the girlfriend asked me to stick my tongue up her. This morning she caught me drinking out of the milk bottle and called me disgusting
donna summer has only been dead a few hours and already the sick jokes are doing the rounds. well i say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"
My son was asking me if I could teach him how to pull a wheelie today. so am taking him down to the local disability club to show him how it's done.
After robin gibbs funeral I am going to go up to his brother Barry and ask him..How deep is your bruv
Been trying to think of some. He's not staying alive.....or......died of a saturday night fever.....hmmmm...