Bear with me, legal cases often long and drawn out. Well, after a 16 hr day decided I am going now where tomorrow, its a work at home day. The first very large glass of red dusted of the road/meeting/road dust and the second has allowed me to consider the evidence. The opening of a second bottle during deliberation has led me to the following conclusion: For the prosecution of Japanese film company – v - Kpone Charge: Focal Point employee Ken (known as Kpone to what few friends he has) was rude and abusive to a sales representative and spouse without due course or provocation. For the prosecution: Ken was rude, offensive and used foul language with out due cause. No other evidence was provided. For the defence: Said sales rep should have known better, given he was on his twenty years service, his actions show he has learned sweet FA (for the record that means sweet fuck all) in all those years. The first rule of making any phone call is informing whoever you have called, who is with you, there by giving the other person half a chance, assuming they have their listening ears on half a chance to a/. Not drop himself in the shit. Or worst b/. Drop you in the shit. If said sales rep has known you for more then five minutes he should have known what kind of retort he was likely to get with that kind of smart arse comment and therefore the first point becomes far more important given the provocation. Case history: UK CEO (name withheld) - v - German technical Manager (name withheld) 1997 UK Ceo traveling in a car driven by Freedom of Choice. FOC takes a telephone call from Germany and informs German technical manger that he is traveling with the UK CEO. Said German does not have his listening ears on and informs FOC what to total wnaker the UK CEO is and how he would like to teach him a lesion by fcuking is wife and daughter. FOC concludes phone call immediately. Said German redials, FOC rejects call twice and continues journey in silence with tears rolling down cheeks. FOC calls said German later that evening to inform him of the situation. Next morning, said German returns call and states without pause to listen that he didn’t give a fcuk and he didn’t mean what he said about said CEO’s wife but he would still like to shag his daughter. Freedom replied that he was sorry the situation had arisen in the first place however as the CEO was again a passenger in the car he would return the call later and ended the call. FOC having now place to hide looked said CEO in the eyes and quote “I am very sorry Mr XXXX but you have to admit that is as funny as it gets” No action or mention was ever taken against the German technical manager. Mitigating circumstances to be taken into account during summing up: Ken stated that he took the phone call during the morning, but in his opening rely to said phone call stated and I quote “good afternoon” which leads us to the conclusion that he has lost all grip on time and relativity and there for should be considered insane at worst or just plain stupid at least but we should be also be aware that he does live and work in Devon and therefore the above is both inevitable and prerequisite. Finding after due consideration: Not guilty. No numpty award. Award nomination to be striked from the record. Final side note: said German technical manger and Foc have constantly enjoyed chinking glasses when reminiscing about the above case.
School report kpone: Over all is a disappointing effort so far this term. Kpone should be trying harder if he is to achieve nomination he thinks he deserves in this calendar year awards. But unless he pulls his miss matched socks ups he is going to let his himself down. His wife down and the whole of his county down. Bearing in mind the overall level of stupidity in the county there is no excuse for this lack of application. We all expect far better and are hoping for a better report at the end of the year.
And the nominations are: 1. Icarus = for turning up at Ace Cafe on the wrong day 2. Zee = for GSXR off roading 3. Blaggers = for too many things to list 4. Robinh73 = for drilling through his fuel tank 4. Giv = for being a baby in the holiday cottage 5. Vino = for not being able to tell the time 6. Samuk = for not looking with his eyes 7. Ken = for not being the "worlds local printer" 8. Alblade = for forgetting his jacket and having to ride a new bike back to Manchester in the rain
I was going to keep stum about this but Ling has said that if I don’t post it she will call Carl and get him to post it anyway so: No ride for me yesterday due to my poxy slipped disk but decided I would fit the ASV short levers and give the bike a proper clean and polish. Read the instructions, thinking this will be a doddle job. Removed brake OE bake lever, fitted new ASV, checked the brake light working,simples. Next on to the clutch lever, again a simple installation and all looking good. Started the bike, pulled in the clutch, into gear and bang engine stopped. Mmm. Tried it again and same thing. Removed clutch lever and checked everything, refitted and tried again. Same thing happened. Removed ASV again and re fitted the OE lever. Same thing again happened. I stood scratching my arse thinking “ok what have I broken, that would cause this to happen. Re read the instructions again. After more arse scratching, I give up and call Dave the workshop techy at Marshalls Honda and explained the problem who immediately started laughing and said “ Side stand mate, have you got the side stand down”. Fcuk, bllocks, siht, fcuk,bllocks. I go back to the bike head down in shame whilst Ling is howling with laughter calling me all the numpty’s under the sun. So should I nominate myself for the 1000rr numpty awards or Ling appeared out of the field yesterday morning with blood pouring out of her nose having shoved a stick up her nostril whilst pulling up some brush. Who’s the real numpty I wonder?
You ya fcuking muppet because you know the fcuking side stand interlock works. Poor Ling should onlyv be classified as 'stupid'. For making a stick from the garden go up her nose. Numpty! Now back to the beer and topless birds in thongs.
"Ling appeared out of the field yesterday morning with blood pouring out of her nose having shoved a stick up her nostril whilst pulling up some brush." pmsl, yep youve found my humour level...cant shake the image of this happening! oovh, my sides hurt
Don't think I would make the list, but better fess up all the same...... I have been riding since mid June with no MOT... convinced that I had the MOT done last October when had it serviced... but no... luckily Fowlers agreed to squeeze it in late Friday so I'm all legal again... thank god nothing happened, the consequences don't bear thinking about.
Just a small one, but I feel like a BIG numpty. Kitting up to leave work yesterday, smoking a fag, chatting with a colleague... Helmet on, gloves on, about to mount my steed, do my obligatory open jaw check to ensure proper tension of chin strap... Ooops, undone. Gloves off, buckle up, gloves on, roll the bike backwards and it stops... I think something is behind me, but no, I already have my helmet on... Then it dawns on me... DISC LOCK!!! I only rolled the bike back with my feet and the front hugger has a HUGE crack. pried it out so it does not look so bad, but I KNOW it is there!!!!
And the nominations are: 1. Icarus = for turning up at Ace Cafe on the wrong day 2. Zee = for GSXR off roading 3. Blaggers = for too many things to list 4. Robinh73 = for drilling through his fuel tank 4. Giv = for being a baby in the holiday cottage 5. Vino = for not being able to tell the time 6. Samuk = for not looking with his eyes 7. Ken = for not being the "worlds local printer" 8. Alblade = for forgetting his jacket and having to ride a new bike back to Manchester in the rain 9. Sideways = directional insanity 10. FOC = Sidestand interlock amnesia 11.GappySmegg = MOT amnesia 12. Matrix = Disc Lock amnesia
I'd take that dude!! Could have been far far worse, count yourself lucky you hadn't done your helmet up properly...
Yup, could have been alot worse... Like when I did the same on my CBR600 but instead of pushing backwards, I jumped on clicked first gear and tried to speed off!!! Ended up with the bike on the floor, mirror gone, foot peg scraped up, and bike not starting for 5 minutes due to tilt sensor kicking in!!! I guess I really should get one of those disc lock reminder thingies!!! Might use my wife's pony tail thingy until I get one...
