Deep breaths big man. It's not real....It's Photoshop.....or voodoo....or some kind of mass hallucination. IT IS NOT REAL!
That's what my bike looked like after riding it 10 miles to the MOT station the other week in the snow. It took me 2 hours to clean the bike twice and then douse it in Scottoil to stop any prevailing rust.
Genuine Kent, Surrey, East Sussex filth. 4 hours of it. By the Power of Greyskull it was cold at the end. Thank Cliff (got that off our Ken) for r+g heated grips. Just got on that bike after being off it since June and not a day went past without me honking to some poor friend, family member or stranger in the street about how much I missed it. Joy! Utter joy!
Oh, I know that feeling. I've used Mer, Auto Glym, Muck off, zymol and I'm now tirying Zaino. Mer gives pretty good results and is simple to use. Auto Glym as above Muck off bike shampoo is a bit smeary. Zymol was good and smells nice Zaino gives a shine like nothing else but can be akward to get an even coat applied.
Have you tried turtle wax Ice, no white powder residue and you can use it on the plastics. When I had a black bike I used a black coloured polish to cover stone chips etc and again no white powder.
