So, my wife came up to me and said: Take off my blouse - so I took off her blouse... Take off my skirt - so I took off her skirt... Take off my shoes- so I took off her shoes... Now my bra and panties - breathing heavily, I took them off... Then she looked at me and said - I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.....
Why did Niva Cream Because Max Factor ------- "Doctor, Doctor, I'm obsessed with Wife Swapping" "I see. And how does your wife feel?" "Really firm, juicy and 'up for it'. What about yours?" --------- What do we want?" " A cure for alzheimers" "when do we want it?" "want what??" -----------
A guy walks into a pub with a lump of Ashphalt on his shoulder ,He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
So i said to the doctor .People keep taking the mickey out of me because i keep thinking im a cricket ball .'the Doctor said 'Howzat?' i said 'don't you start'.
I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger in !, Now she's made a formal complaint and I'm banned from the Gym
I went to buy a ticket on the train to France. The Agent said 'Eurostar'? i said 'Well ,i've been on the telly ; but i'm no Dean Martin.
Two Aerials meet on a roof -fall in love-get married The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
I went to the Doctors the other day ,and i said 'have you got anything for wind? So he give me a Kite.
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started......
