Funnies - viewers discretion advised

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Gums, Jul 22, 2011.

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  1. Givover

    Givover God Like

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    My girlfriend might be 'the one' but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurses outfit ,a maids outfit ,and a policewomans uniform,
    I've dumped her .She obviously can't hold a job down.
     
    #501 Givover, Nov 20, 2011
  2. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    I know a bloke with no legs called Neil. He taught himself to swim and changed his name to Bob.
     
    #502 kpone, Nov 20, 2011
  3. Gums

    Gums Active Member

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    I've just got some Viagra called 007 it's supposed to make your Roger Moore
     
    #503 Gums, Nov 20, 2011
  4. Nutty Tart

    Nutty Tart Well-Known Member

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    OK touche
     
    #504 Nutty Tart, Nov 20, 2011
  5. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    Whats brown, 8 inches long, and can be found in the jungle?

    Fatima Whitbread's clitoris
     
    #505 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  6. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    Unbelievable! Just checked the roster and I've gotta work every fucking weekend this year and Christmas Eve from midnight.

    If it wasn't for all the free wine and altar boys I'd seriously jack in this 'priest' malarkey
     
    #506 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  7. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    I got talking to a blonde bird in a club.

    She said, "I'm from Essex."

    "Oh really!" I replied, "Which part?"

    "All of me," she replied.
     
    #507 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  8. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    So Demi Moore set to divorce Ashton Kutcher after several occurences of cheating.

    Well no fucking wonder. 16 years older, 3 kids and 2 husbands prior... the sex must have been like throwing a sausage down a wide corridor.



    to add to the above I so would until It fell off. MILF YUM LOL
     
    #508 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  9. Nutty Tart

    Nutty Tart Well-Known Member

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    Just don't send a man to look for it :)
     
    #509 Nutty Tart, Nov 20, 2011
  10. Nutty Tart

    Nutty Tart Well-Known Member

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    What do Essex girls use for contraception ................ a bus shelter
     
    #510 Nutty Tart, Nov 20, 2011
  11. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    Oi I've never had a prob finding it
     
    #511 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  12. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    I know where to look when in the area
     
    #512 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  13. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!
     
    #513 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  14. kpone

    kpone Moderator
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    I get really upset when women constantly carp on about men not knowing what a clitoris is.

    It's that black sweet that makes your tongue brown and gives you the shits.
     
    #514 kpone, Nov 20, 2011
  15. Remal

    Remal It's ME
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    Well your alone the right lines Ken. If you miss the Clit your going to be in the shit mate. :)
     
    #515 Remal, Nov 20, 2011
  16. Givover

    Givover God Like

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    This Thread is both disgusting and Crass (How come i've not been involved?
     
    #516 Givover, Nov 20, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2011
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  17. Garyb

    Garyb Moderator.
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    Aircraft Question,

    "What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    .
    [​IMG]


    Yeah, I got it wrong too :)
     
    #517 Garyb, Nov 20, 2011
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  18. Givover

    Givover God Like

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    ED-ZACHARY.
    A women was very dispondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was worried that she might never find a mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem she decides that it was time to see a Doctor .She came across a Chinese sex therapist named Dr Chang.

    When the women arrived she told the doctor her symptoms ,and he said , ''Take off all your clothes and you crawl real fass away from me across the floor''

    She crawled to the other side of the room and Dr Chang shook his head and said ''you haf real bad case of Ed- Zachary disease... worse case i ever see! that is why you have sex problem.

    The women was completley confused and asked the Doctor exactly what was ''Ed- Zachary disease was and he replied.
    ED-ZACHARY Disease ....That when your face rook Ed-Zachary rike your ass!!''
     
    #518 Givover, Nov 22, 2011
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  19. Nutty Tart

    Nutty Tart Well-Known Member

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    did you hear about the over weight ,pi$$ed , transvestite ........ all he wanted to do was eat , drink and be Mary
     
    #519 Nutty Tart, Nov 22, 2011
  20. Benn The Pig

    Benn The Pig Well-Known Member

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    As I pulled my iPhone screen apart with my two fingers to zoom in on that amazing "batty crease" I almost got exited and some how thought it might spread her cheeks at the same time



    When it didn't happen it felt like when u wake up from a dream you have won the lottery then you realise it was just a dream!!!!

    Gutted lol
     
    #520 Benn The Pig, Nov 22, 2011
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