Part two: You’ve fcuking ruined my life Now where’s that carving knife Mitigating circumstances you fort Whilst standing in court Prosecution said, You used the knife Your now looking at life In summing up by the judge “young man take care of your fudge” The prison door slammed shut Inmates eyeing your butt Get on your knees Open up and say please This is gonna hurt But it will sure keep you alert Your now our bitch And never a snitch By the time you get out 1000rr.co.uk might not even be about
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Russians had bombed his house. No, that should be Chechen...
We’ve cracked the midnight glass And loosed the racketing star-crazed night into the room The blind harp sings in late fire-light, Your hand is decked with white promises. What wine is this? There are squirrels chasing in my glass, Good God! I’m pissed! - Spike Milligan
The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all stand-by passengers, we now have a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!"
Don't worry about it David. It'll come and go and you won't even notice it. I don't even remember my 50th... Or this morning....or my address...
Depth limit for recreational divers - 12 metres Depth limit for experienced divers - 18 metres Depth at which nitrogen bubbles develop in your blood - 30 metres Scuba diving world record - 137 metres Depth my £14.99 watch will operate up to - 500 metres Cheers Casio, that's a relief
What's the best thing about shagging a tranny? Reaching round and thinking you've gone straight through.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.............................. ......................... ........................... ......or 'foreplay', as she likes to call it.
An honest to goodness safety label on a print laminator that I have just photographed in my office. Read into it what you will. I believe that somebody in China with a major sense of humour bypass designed it as a way of warning you against getting your hands near the rollers.
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that can read Binary... ...and those who can't.
don't put on your K or B's Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml