Took the girlfriend to a posh restaurant for a romantic meal last night, we played footsie under the table.................I got steak and she got toe'd in the hole!!! Mornin!
Premature ejaculator seeks young attractive woman for fling...... Must have large breasts Big lips A tight arse and......... Oh god never mind.
Getting old is a terrible thing. This morning I went upstairs then forgot why, so I went back down to try and jog my memory. That's when I shit myself
Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week. I got a lot of abuse from his relatives about my floral tribute in the shape of a lifejacket. But as I told everyone. "It's what he would have wanted."
I wrote in my g/f card today: Roses are red Cabbages green My face is funny But yours is a scream Apparently I should stay out tonight....?
Just got on with the biggest bouquet of flowers for the Mrs. She said, I suppose you'll be expecting me to open my legs tonight for them I said, nah got a vase under the kitchen sink
I see thay have charged Oscar Pistorius with murder following the shooting last night of his model girlfriend....................tragic. Police were said to be initially stumped, however they now say he hasen't a leg to stand on and charges will be brought. If these charges result in jail I imagine it will certainly take the spring out of his step.There is however talk in the media of him bouncing back.
Roses are Red Violets are glorious Dont ever surprise Oscar Pistorious Apparently he'd been drinking and was legless!
Following the shooting of Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend, Police received a call about a suspect running away from the scene. He was described as being white and between 5'11" and 8'3"
New evidence has been found outside the home of Oscar Pistorious that completely acquits him of the murder of his girlfriend .............Footprints..
poor old "Oscar".......he s surely not the first man to shoot into a girlfriends face while being legless and thinking she was someone else ???
And what was Kevin Webster doing "looking after Tyrones babby....just before she was snatched".........what a way to write him out !!
